Saturday, September 18, 2021

Cupcakes Aren't Good For You

You can only win on the hyper-technical bottom line when you pay an overmatched opponent to come to your classroom to teach your students a course in pigskin. It's even worse than what Woody Hayes or somebody said about passing, "Three things can happen and two of them are bad." When you play a supposed cupcake four things can happen, three of which are bad.

1) You can lose.
2) You can win "too" big. People are angered when it looks like you're trying to match Georgia Tech vs Cumberland.
3) You can win too close. Even if you're playing other major conference teams, unless you're Notre Dame, if you have two or three close calls against teams you're supposed to blow out you're not passing the taste test of an elite team.
4) You can win comfortably. That's the only acceptable outcome.


Door #4 above:

#5 Iowa beat Kent State today 30-7 in Iowa City. That's a perfect result.
#7 Texas A&M beat New Mexico at home 34-7. Also perfect.

On the other hand...

Door #1:












Door #3:

#9 Ohio State beat winless Tulsa 41-20 in the Horseshoe. What, three TD's isn't good enough? Well, let me turn the question around on you "Buckeyes" fans: Do you think your team is going to rise from ninth with this win? Like AP voters are going to go, "Whoa, I guess those questions after the loss to Oregon have been answered, yessir!"? No. First of all you didn't even cover the spread. Second, you gave up TWENTY points at home to TULSA. Get outta here.

California 42 Sacramento State 30. "Golden Bears" you just got a golden shower with that piss-poor win.


Door #2:

#25 Meeshagan 63 Northern Illinoise 10. All impressed with Jimmy Harbaugh raise your hands.


Tennessee 56 Tennessee Tech 0.