Ira Winderman this morning.
That is so true. We are not going to court Giannis Antetokounmpo Monday night. We don’t know who he is. That’s first. We can’t pronounce his name, second. We’re not there for the player introductions anyway so we’ll miss that. The truth is we "Heat" fans get receptions, we do not give receptions.
Miami “Heat” fans—“fans” is not le mot juste for us. Don’t insult us. We’re not “fanatic” about anything. Did you mistake Biscayne Bay for Lake Erie? You want fanatic, make a left turn at Pittsburgh.
We attend these games as events. Look who is courtside. We are there to see and be seen. That’s why we arrive fashionably late. We support our "Heat" unconditionally, win or lose. We will wave and blow you an air kiss if we know you but we’re not going to clap fanatically, screaming is scandalous and no, I don’t want a beer, I’ll have a chilled white wine, and when you come back if I’m talking to our friends and long-time fellow season ticket holders be kind enough to just put the drink in the cupholder thank you. We have to get up tomorrow to see the children off to private school so we really cannot stay to the end of the game, traffic is such a nightmare and we do not wait, you wait, we don’t wait.
This is Miami. Have you experienced our weather? Have you seen how beautiful our people are? We do not solicit, we entertain applications and we select. We go to a showroom and select our Bentley. We go to a showroom and select our spouses. We pay list, but it's a buyer's market. We are well-off, sometimes a tad more, some of us are fabulously wealthy. "Heat" tickets would be one-quarter of your income—A third? Oh dear.—They’re an entertainment expense for us, a tax write-off, tipping money. Did you know we have no state or city income tax? Often times we choose not to use our $10,000 tickets, it's too nice out.
Beg?! We do not beg. Gianni wishes to stay in Milwaukee? There really is no accounting for taste.
We are "Heat" season ticket holders. We are not "fans." We transcend fandom. We are metamodern. You don’t like us and our metamodern ways? Do I know you? Who are you anyway? This is Miami.
That is so true. We are not going to court Giannis Antetokounmpo Monday night. We don’t know who he is. That’s first. We can’t pronounce his name, second. We’re not there for the player introductions anyway so we’ll miss that. The truth is we "Heat" fans get receptions, we do not give receptions.
Miami “Heat” fans—“fans” is not le mot juste for us. Don’t insult us. We’re not “fanatic” about anything. Did you mistake Biscayne Bay for Lake Erie? You want fanatic, make a left turn at Pittsburgh.
We attend these games as events. Look who is courtside. We are there to see and be seen. That’s why we arrive fashionably late. We support our "Heat" unconditionally, win or lose. We will wave and blow you an air kiss if we know you but we’re not going to clap fanatically, screaming is scandalous and no, I don’t want a beer, I’ll have a chilled white wine, and when you come back if I’m talking to our friends and long-time fellow season ticket holders be kind enough to just put the drink in the cupholder thank you. We have to get up tomorrow to see the children off to private school so we really cannot stay to the end of the game, traffic is such a nightmare and we do not wait, you wait, we don’t wait.
This is Miami. Have you experienced our weather? Have you seen how beautiful our people are? We do not solicit, we entertain applications and we select. We go to a showroom and select our Bentley. We go to a showroom and select our spouses. We pay list, but it's a buyer's market. We are well-off, sometimes a tad more, some of us are fabulously wealthy. "Heat" tickets would be one-quarter of your income—A third? Oh dear.—They’re an entertainment expense for us, a tax write-off, tipping money. Did you know we have no state or city income tax? Often times we choose not to use our $10,000 tickets, it's too nice out.
Beg?! We do not beg. Gianni wishes to stay in Milwaukee? There really is no accounting for taste.
We are "Heat" season ticket holders. We are not "fans." We transcend fandom. We are metamodern. You don’t like us and our metamodern ways? Do I know you? Who are you anyway? This is Miami.
