"Hurricane" Isaias, he-haw, he-haw, is now Tropical Storm Jack Ass. It's a Miami thing, you wouldn't understand. Of course, of course, I'm glad Isaias was a big wet noodle. But maybe...no for sure, I wish I hadn't had to distract myself with this fucking thing. I had just had to learn IHME for the Trump Epidemic, now I had to remember what that European model's acronym was, E-something, EHME, no; European Weather, there was a W in there. Finally I couldn't remember and just googled "European model"--ECMWF.
Hurricanes are jack asses anyway. Look, for the last fifty years, no one besides a jack ass should ever die in a hurricane. Satellites, special hurricane planes--you're only given about a WEEK'S notice. And you can't miss them: See that big thing there? With all the clouds? Spinning? Right, that one! Get out of the way of that thing, K? They're not like earthquakes where you have no fucking idea when the Big One is coming; they're not like tornadoes which can spring up (or jump down) all of a sudden. A hurricane is a boxer telling you, "I'm going to hit you right there, and this is how I'm going to do it." It even tells you how hard it's going to hit you. So, if you're stupid, stand there and let it hit you.
Yeah, hurricanes are complex things. Water temperature--just right; air--hot and wet, and no wind shear!, other weather systems in the path--hurricanes don't like those 'atall, land masses--hate them most of all--wind speed (A Cat 1 or Cat 2, I ignore) hurricanes are these big dumb doofuses that have to have things go just right for them if they're going to hurt you. Donkey Cane fell victim to air temp, hot but dry, to land mass, to steering currents--it was a pussy-ass hurricane. Now watch, it will blow up again over night and I'll be dead.
By mid-afternoon, it was clear that Hurricane Isaias was going nowhere. It didn't even look like a fucking hurricane. It was a three-headed big ol' thunderstorm thing. Yet, I was over at my son's house for four hours today: "COVIDCANE20, DANGER APPROACHING; Isaias was "charging" across the Florida Straits. That and more like from the Weather Channel. They had FIVE reporters in the state. I think I saw one's hair move a little in the wind. Once. There were fat old people on the beach right behind him. "Is he embarrassed, do you think?" to be standing there in a Land's End shirt, and shorts, I asked my son. "No." My son was right, of course. It's the dude's job to stand on beaches with fat old people sitting behind him at shore's edge. It's a living.
Hurricanes are jack asses anyway. Look, for the last fifty years, no one besides a jack ass should ever die in a hurricane. Satellites, special hurricane planes--you're only given about a WEEK'S notice. And you can't miss them: See that big thing there? With all the clouds? Spinning? Right, that one! Get out of the way of that thing, K? They're not like earthquakes where you have no fucking idea when the Big One is coming; they're not like tornadoes which can spring up (or jump down) all of a sudden. A hurricane is a boxer telling you, "I'm going to hit you right there, and this is how I'm going to do it." It even tells you how hard it's going to hit you. So, if you're stupid, stand there and let it hit you.
Yeah, hurricanes are complex things. Water temperature--just right; air--hot and wet, and no wind shear!, other weather systems in the path--hurricanes don't like those 'atall, land masses--hate them most of all--wind speed (A Cat 1 or Cat 2, I ignore) hurricanes are these big dumb doofuses that have to have things go just right for them if they're going to hurt you. Donkey Cane fell victim to air temp, hot but dry, to land mass, to steering currents--it was a pussy-ass hurricane. Now watch, it will blow up again over night and I'll be dead.
By mid-afternoon, it was clear that Hurricane Isaias was going nowhere. It didn't even look like a fucking hurricane. It was a three-headed big ol' thunderstorm thing. Yet, I was over at my son's house for four hours today: "COVIDCANE20, DANGER APPROACHING; Isaias was "charging" across the Florida Straits. That and more like from the Weather Channel. They had FIVE reporters in the state. I think I saw one's hair move a little in the wind. Once. There were fat old people on the beach right behind him. "Is he embarrassed, do you think?" to be standing there in a Land's End shirt, and shorts, I asked my son. "No." My son was right, of course. It's the dude's job to stand on beaches with fat old people sitting behind him at shore's edge. It's a living.
