It now becomes our disagreeable duty to report sad news out of the Chechen Republic of Shit. Igor Sushko tweets that Shit leader Ramzan Kadyrov, take a bow Ramzan (if you can),

--Ramzan is of the Amish faith--Ramzan is, and I quote "on his deathbed and can't speak." This courtesy of Vladimir Putin's GRU, which is in charge of poisonings. Ramzan used to be Vlad-the-Poisoner's homosexual lover and was installed by same in Shit to keep Ramzan's anus nearby. Then, as so often happens in back door relationships, Ramzan turned on, or wasn't sufficiently...receptive to Vlad and the GRU poisoned him around the first of March. Last days of Ramzan. Om.