Monday, May 11, 2015

Do you really think, Dave, that your decisions are "parallel" to those of a fighter pilot?
                                          -Or-
That you, this season, in Sunday's game, are analogous to Shakespeare, that you are the Bard of the Baseline, the Shakespeare of the Sideline, the frigging, I don't know, Locke of the Locker Room?

What are "drama comedies," is there such a genre, an oeuvre, as it were? That rings untrue a bit to my uneducated ear, it seems a malapropism, uncharacteristic for you, if so. Might it be better stated as a "dramatic comedy?" I think I've heard of that, I do not remember hearing of "drama comedies," but you would know better, not to quibble.

But is it plausible, Dave, is it reasonable that you may be "fishing too far out," as it were, with these analogies, that you are intellectualizing the calling of Basketball Coach, that you feel the need to tether your jock-carrying life's work to some higher, more complicated, calling, something more commensurate with your intellectual self-esteem? Do you think you may have forced things a bit, quite a bit, there with talk of fighter pilots and Shakespeare? That perhaps you would have better served your purpose by explaining your job as giving what minimal aid you could to athletes far more skilled than you were, certainly not uncommon among coaches? That you are muddying the waters to make them, and you, look deep?

It is at base a game, Dave, A FRIGGING, FRACKING GAME!, you pretentious fool, it is not being a fighter pilot, life and death do not hinge on your decisions. You are not creating art or literature, perhaps slapstick, but nothing more profound.

In twenty-one seconds Sunday you demonstrated that: 1. You could not count. 2. You could not call a play that seemed reasonable to your team, and 3. You could not get the physics of the basketball court correct so that one of your students could successfully throw a large circular ball a short distance to any of four others. Most importantly, Dave, for all the reading you have done, for the literate person that you are, you have incomplete comprehension of two words in the English language, "LeBron" and "James" and you do not see that that man, LeBron James, is smarter, has a higher IQ, not just a "basketball IQ," but is simply more intelligent than you are; you lack the critical personalty trait of humility necessary to see that. To me this all distills to the Essential David Blatt: a man who doesn't know that he doesn't know. In Israel, in Europe you are, I understand, a "legend." In America, you are something similar sounding but of the opposite meaning, a legend in your own mind. You were exposed on Sunday and today your words revealed your shallowness.