Well. Something good happened in sport today. City--I love you Cit-ie-y, oh yes i do-oo; I love you Cit-ie-y, so true; Oh Cit-ie-y, I love you--beat the Arse today at Emptihad one nil on a 23' goal by Ra-HEEM STER-ling. Pep ex-assistant Mikel Arteta had made a bright start to the 2020/21 campaign with three wins against one draw. City were...Wait, excuse me? Aston Villa beat Liverpool 7-2 sometime in the not too distant past?

Holy Toledo. To finish on City and then I'll look up when that Alice in Wonderland event transpired, City were in Middlesbrough, 1-1-1, without Kun and the Arch Angel. Nice win today by Pep's Boys. Arsenal are fifth in the table, City ninth.

Okay, now wtf. Oct. 4. Aston Villa, newly promoted, 7 Liverpool, EPL title holders, 2. At Villa Park. Well that doesn't explain anything...Adrian, the pop singer, subbed for banged up Liverpool 'keeper Alisson, late of Abba, and gave up a poor opening goal...Okay, that's one. There seems no explanation for this other than it still being 2020. The Villains are undefeated and sit third in the table and the Champeens are second.

You know who's first? Everton. Everton drew with 'Pool today amidst the tow houses 2-2. The strikingly androgynous Virgil van Dijk was injured. VvD is the reason 'Pool are Champeens. Hope it is not serious. VvD is a sublime defender.