We need laughing gas ASAP!!!!!

Boy. That is the prettiest, best made-up woman in labor this boy's ever seen. That is a total B.S. photo. She could be having an O, she T'AIN'T havin' a child! Where'd I get that photo?...Oh, lovely, "whattoexpect.com." First time moms, listen to Uncle Ben, do not listen to "whattoexpect.com": YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE THAT! You're going to look like you were in a serious automobile accident! And if you ever want to have sex with your husband again (and maybe you don't) DO NOT LET HIM SEE YOU GIVING BIRTH! It will make his pee-pee shrivel up and recede back into his body and it will never return except for the au pair.