I admit I have wondered about your sexual preferences, Trump. Straight? Bi? Pan? That is why one of my earlier nicknames for you was "Disco Donald." I mean, Studio 54, I never had the privilege but that was a sexually "extravant" club, no?

You were close to known pole-smoker and AIDS victim Roy Cohn, you are close to the sexually extravant Roger Stone and here you are giving a hum job to Rudy Giuliani's fake tits. I know you supposedly don't like fake tits. On women. And, I guess, not liking fake tits on women is support for this being a playful, ardor-less hum job on Rudy. Maybe you have another special nickname for him, I don't know, for Giuliani. Divine Mistress Rudolphina, whatever.

So while I hate you just the way you are Trump, I am a little unsure who the you is that I hate so extravagantly, do you feel me?

You were pretty in military school.

Have to wear a uniform in military school, I know. But did you like it anyway? Dressing up? Cosplay? No? Alright.

Don't mind me, I just have these stupid theories.

Trophy.

For what?

You look uncomfortable there. That's an odd angle for your legs. Like it's uncomfortable for your asshole sitting on that pole. Hemmorhoids? Spanking?