Happiness Today (frequent updates).*

Saturday, October 17, 2015.

And the happiness reports are starting to come in from around the globe! First up from Merry Old:

MANCHESTER CITY 5 :),  AFC Bournemouth 1. :(
CHELSEA 2 :), Aston Villa 0. :(
MANCHESTER UNITED 3 :), Everton 0. :(
ARSENAL 3 :), Watford 0, :(

Pursuing happiness in the U.S.:

FLORIDA STATE :), Louisville :(
IOWA :), Northwestern :(
PITT :), Georgia Tech :(
MEMPHIS :), Mississippi :(
BAYLOR :), West Virginia :(
ALABAMA :), Texas A&M :(
MICHIGAN :), Michigan State :(
MICHIGAN STATE :), Michigan :( OH MY FUCKING GOD! ESPN had Michigan as the winner "end of fourth." It was 4th down Michigan with 10 seconds left, they called time out (?) and then attempted a punt and the bird hit the air punt and Michigan State WON! OMG!!! The ESPN play-by-play:

• 3rd and 3 at MSU 48

  (0:48 - 4th) De'Veon Smith run for 1 yd to the MchSt 47

• (0:10 - 4th) Timeout MICHIGAN, clock 00:10

• 4th and 2 at MSU 47

  (0:00 - 4th) Blake O'Neill run for a loss of 15 yards Blake O'Neill fumbled, recovered by MchSt Jalen Watts-Jackson , return for 38 yds

Oh my gosh, the poor Michigan kid punting the ball, the ball hit him right on the hands but it bounced off, onto the field and then he tried to advance it by lateraling it blindly to his side, right into the hands of a Michigan State player in full stride who ran it into the endzone for a touchdown. This one is on the Michigan coach, Jim Harbaugh. Just this past week he has been called a genius. And he has led an amazing turnaround for Michigan. But this call! Omg, he overthought it, why did he call time out?!, why did he call a punt?!, Michigan State was 53 yards from a touchdown and instead of putting the ball into the hands of a "hands" player, handing it off and daring Michigan State to complete a "Hail Mary" pass to win it, he called a punt! which meant that one non-"hands" player, the punter, would be standing back 10 yards from the line of scrimmage, the Michigan center would snap the ball back through the air 10 yards to the punter who is all alone! no other teammates around. If something bad happens, like a bad snap or a mishandle of the ball by the punter and Michigan State recovers at the 38 yard line they are now fifteen yards closer to the Michigan end zone, that's not a "Hail Mary" pass, that's a normal medium deep throw. That would have been normal bad. The punt can also be blocked! and run in by the other team for a touchdown. That happens with some frequency. A block or what did happen would be not normal bad, it would be catastrophe. It went catastrophically bad when the poor punter tried to advance the ball. Punters are going to do that! They are taught not to, they are taught to fall on the ball to prevent catastrophe but when you make a mistake you try to get your self and your team out of your mistake and the catastrophic can happen. Even professionals sometimes do that, it happened in a Super Bowl once, your instinct takes over and you don't think what you've been taught, you react. This was a kid, not a professional. No, Jim Harbaugh set this catastrophe in motion by first calling time out, giving Michigan State a full ten seconds and then by calling for a punt. He over thought it. Catastrophically. Oh, my God. "Punt Michigan Punt," it will be a long time before "genius" Jim Harbaugh lives this one down. No schadenfreude here, just schaden. Oh!

LOUISIANA STATE :), Florida :(
MIAMI :), Virginia Tech :(
RUTGERS :), Indiana :(
TEMPLE :), University of Central Florida :(
NOTRE DAME :), Southern California :(

OHIO STATE :), :(

Oh my God, I forgot:

Islam didn't kill any non-Muslims today. :) Release the balloons of joy.