And now ladies and gentlemen the top-20 HAPPIEST colleges in America!

1. Texas A&M University.
dos. Stanford. The Cardinals!
3. University of Wisconsin.
4. Florida State University. Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh (impersonation of Seminole war chant)
5. University of North Carolina at Apple Chill.
6. University of Florida. We are the boys of old Florida, F-l-o-r-i-d-a. That is the only word we learned to spell, in college at Flor-i-da!
7. Brigham Young University.
8. University of Georgia.
9. University of Texas Austin. Hook em Horns!
10. Kansas State University. Really? Surprised at that one.
11. University of Central Florida. Three happiest from the state of Florida so far. 
12. Ohio State. The Ohio State University, you cad.
13. Virginia Tech. Hokie, hookie, hokie...don't really know their fight song.
14. Purdue University. Cindy Crawford went there. 
15. Oklahoma State University. Boomer-Sooner, Boomer-Sooner...Eeeck! Wrong school. We apologize for any inconvenience.
16. University of Southern California. 100%, 1,000...1,000,000% due to the Song Girls.
17. University of Alabama. Poll them today!  When was this friggin' survey done? If you polled the students today, they weren't be no #17. They just got waxed by the Oklahoma State Sooners!
18. Indiana University. Surprised about that one, too. Purdue's in Indiana, too. That's two from Indiana. Where's Notre Dame du lac?
19. Pennsylvania State University. Why do you think they call it "Happy Valley," huh?
20. Brown University. First Ivy. 

And there you have it, l's and g's. Mr. Jefferson's school did not make it. Neither did Notre Dame du lac, even with its advantageous location in Indiana.